Home Care Aficionados T-Shirts

I love this thing! It does a great job keeping my floors free of dust and debris. I can just sit and relax while it goes all around the house! But it must stay inside. There's many hazards for it outdoors! Of course, nature abhors a vacuum!

'I'm here to check the condition your condition is in.'

"My dang neck is killin' me again." "That's because you left your dang hanger in your coat. Again."

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

Children's Nursery

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

I went a little crazy with the pet hair sticky roller.

'You're not supposed to use fabric softener on ARMOR!'

'But, Mom - I am watering the garden just like you told me!'

'Forget the wheel. Invent diapers.'

"Great Perfume!"

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

'Oh Sit down again and read your paper!'

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

Cut out and keep your own Cleaner.

New more powerful, furniture polish.

Woman ironing the curly cord from a computer mouse

"Welcome to Mom's place. I'll be your waitress, dishwasher, and cook tonight..."

'Oh, wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'Try and stay alive until the government have finished their consultation process.'

'Your mother has finally found a home she wants us to put her in...ours.'

"I guess I found your problem, Miss Rapunzel."

The Assistant

"Ok, ok, I'll use a bloody coaster!"

You wake up and face the crack of dawn. I wake up and face the crack of Ralph.

'Hello, high gloss floor wax - I'd like customer service. Yeah - I would like to report a problem!'

My Mother Is Dead But Her Body Is Still Alive

PsIkeatrist.

"Stop complaining...Just think of it as that, 'new hobby' you've been looking for."