Home Care Aficionado T-Shirts

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Gifts for a cloned baby!

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

No bottle feeding.

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

"Hello job security."

"To heck with a husband... just help me find a dependable electrician."

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

'I'll calk that hole as soon as the siege is over.'

'Sure I can put in a wet bar, too.'

Santa hosing the Chimney.

So I used body soap to wash my face. Why is that so bad? Details matter. Pay attention to your surroundings. Face soap isn't body soap. Conditioner isn't shampoo. Moisturizer isn't hand lotion. If we're ever going to move in together and have a future you've got to pay attention to me and the nuances about my life. Conditioner isn't shampoo? I'm livid and you have stinky hair!

Decluttering. . .

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

'Angiogram.'

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

New more powerful, furniture polish.

"Welcome to Mom's place. I'll be your waitress, dishwasher, and cook tonight..."

'Under the circumstances, I feel that it would be best if you had another doctor!'

'You play the nurse and I'll play God.'

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I might find the colostrum?"

'But on the plus side, I'm picking up HBO.'

'Try and stay alive until the government have finished their consultation process.'

'You think you need WHAT glands expressed?'

"It was worth it to get rid of the fleas!"

"Now, that's what I call a skyscraper!"

'I retired from work but housework has not retired from me.'