Care Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Welcome to Mom's place. I'll be your waitress, dishwasher, and cook tonight..."

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

Healthy Patients Only

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

Get well soon!

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"You call all this a side effect?"

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

Drug vending machines at hospital.

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

"Holy moly!"

'Doc, my stiches are coming out,'

"I'll bet he takes other dangerous drugs too! See if we can catch him with an aspirin!"