Baby Care Aficionados T-Shirts

'Forget the wheel. Invent diapers.'

'Oh Sit down again and read your paper!'

Mozart's first movement: Leopold, come quick.'

'Oh, wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'The child is very illogical'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

"He looks just like your husband."

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

Maternity Ward

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'How many fingers do you see?'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Children's Nursery

Uterus: One size fits all.

Bouncing baby

'It's a chicken.'

Giving Birth

Maternity Hospital