Home Aesthetics Adventurer Pillows

"I did what you suggested and replaced my trophy heads with something that might appeal to home buyer who liked pets."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"Too bright."

Captain steering house through flood.

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

'We'll take it!'

Comedy Ballet of Marionettes I (Oil Version in Tate Known as 'A Caprice'

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"A conundrum, rather than an outright mess, I think, Mrs Ellis..."

The lesser known active volcanoes.

Blowing up the camping mattress.

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

G.P.S. For the Home

"We hired all the designers ourselves."

Ceiling Paint

Dominoes

Builder follows an architect's blueprints exactly, including the smudges.

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

"Whenever I want my mom to play fort, I just turn on news about climate change."

"Love the exposed chessboard."

"Measuring dulls my creativity."

"The first thing about living alone again is not to overdo the chintz."

Rape of the Lock- The Barge

'I lost him in the house, but don't worry, a snake that big should be easy to find.'

"Sure, there are commuting issues! But look at the view!"

'Oh yes, Leonard's a fixit-it man. Only problem is, who'll fix it after him?'

'Give me the saw Stanley, I'm calling a professional.'

"Every appliance, every light, every bit of electronics in the house is controlled by a single remote that I haven't yet been able to find."

Trampoline Roller Paint

"...You shouldn't by any chance be missing one of your animals?"