Holy Stocks Enthusiast Gifts

"Yes, reverend, all our stocks are faith-based.2

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

A child runs an equity stand.

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

"When we changed the company name, the stocks went through the roof!"

Dow Jones drop

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

That Awkward Moment When You Discover That Wall Street's Insanity Is Helping You

Jumping Wall Street.

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

Bookstore. The Stock Market for Dummies. It's either an instructional guide or a history of recent economics.

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

'I've never seen a stock crash so hard.'