Holy Rollers Pillows

"You realise that the job involves Sunday work?"

Vicar's driving lesson "Here endeth the first lesson!"

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

Casino. Keno. $$$. Win. Cashier. He sure wins a lot! He's "Keno Savvy."

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

Destination casinos...

An amplified harp

Beware of stimulus plans.

Airports.

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

"I was hoping to make billions, but I've settled for making millions."

'Frank said if he ever won a lot of money from online gambling, he wouldn't change, He lied,'

'We ride the storm until greed is back.'

You Are Now Entering Las Vegas. Lock Your Car And Open Your Wallet

There were times when Ralph wished god didn't move in such mysterious ways.

'The reason I'm paid fifty times more is because I think I'm worth it.'

Golf

'I'm all in.'

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

Bishop playing pool, "I like his unholier than thou attitude."

'Could someone just tell me if I win anything?'

A leap of faith.

"Who'da thunk guys like us would ever have found ourselves looking forward to Social Security like this?"

Bible Weights

Confessions on a plane.

'I came for the $1.99 seafood buffet--I'm staying for the restrooms.'

"I deserve this and much, much more."

'Must you make such a big deal out of this?'

"My wife helped me become a millionaire. Before I met her, I was a billionaire."

Easy Come, Easy Go: Big Splenders Club.

'I blew the $50 million settlement I got from my ex here in 6 months. Oh, well, that's 3 more than if I had started a winery.'

'Sorry, this machine only takes small bills.'