Holy Man Gifts

Night-time halo

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Golfing Bishop.

'Never mind that. I think I've just discovered a new planet!'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

Father

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

"I have an app for that."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

Church In and Out Trays 'Lord Giveth' and 'Taketh away'

Priest with Christian symbol

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

'Would you mind not drinking from the holy water?'

'We are gathered here...'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

"Holy Mackerel!"

How's my Sermon . . .

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

Golfing with God.

'Today's sermon is on the feeding of the five thousand...and I'll be giving you the recipe for that.'

'Man, I'm bombing,'

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

"Holy water, holy water...."

'World's Greatest Dad'

"Then the angel Gabriel said to Joseph in a dream.. 'Behold, the virgin shall be with child and bear a son, and they shall call Him Emmanuel." "I thought His name was Jesus!?".

"Can you bless all water on Earth, turning it all into holy water instantly? Or do blessings have a maximum range or a volume limit or something? And would that kill all vampires?"

Emergency Bible for deathbed conversions only.

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"