Holy Man Pillows

Night-time halo

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Golfing Bishop.

'Never mind that. I think I've just discovered a new planet!'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

Father

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"I have an app for that."

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

Church In and Out Trays 'Lord Giveth' and 'Taketh away'

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

'Would you mind not drinking from the holy water?'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

"Holy Mackerel!"

'We are gathered here...'

'Today's sermon is on the feeding of the five thousand...and I'll be giving you the recipe for that.'

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

Golfing with God.

How's my Sermon . . .

'Man, I'm bombing,'

"Holy water, holy water...."

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

"Can you bless all water on Earth, turning it all into holy water instantly? Or do blessings have a maximum range or a volume limit or something? And would that kill all vampires?"

Emergency Bible for deathbed conversions only.

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.