Holy Hashtagger Pillows

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Golfing Bishop.

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

The Ordered List

BLESS YOU

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

"I still maintain an online presence."

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

Golf

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

'Whoops!'

Bishop playing pool, "I like his unholier than thou attitude."

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

Thanks God!

Holy Water and Ice Blocks

Scalpers Work The Queue At Heaven's Gates

'You called for tech support?'

Dog collars.

Vicar with a cross on his cycle helmet

"More proof there's an afterlife."

“Please—outside of work I’m not your boss. I’m just Dave with the nicer car, bigger house, and three-hundred-dollar haircut.”

"Every hand I draw is a royal flush! This really is heaven!"

Megadeath Comes for the Archbishop'Did you bring the amps?'

'You must be new up here. Welcome to the Blogosphere.'

'I don't need an appointment; I just want to draw near to him.'

'There's a 35 minute wait. However, if you're willing to sit in hell, I can get you a table immediately.'

Archbishop playing golf with his staff.

The Vatican goes electronic.

Bishop playing golf with his crosier.