Heavenly Gambler Pillows

"Every hand I draw is a royal flush! This really is heaven!"

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

Jenga!!!

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

'Will you make the final table?'

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

STRIP Hambone: Betting on horse racing with the company payroll

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

Mary's Botox injections paid for themselves in no time.

European Space Agency.

"I got the idea from a pair of dice."

Welcome to Las Vegas - a faith-based community.

'Sudden death?'

"Ask your doctor if you're strong enough to day trade options."

Angel Nightclub: The Head of a Pin.

'I somehow always knew heaven would be like this!'

'Look at the bright side, it's better to have loved money and lost than never to have invested at all.'

'What number is the hymn 'All things bright and beautiful'?'

'Aim for one of the holes in the ozone layer.'

He dropped ten quid.

Golf Sale

Golfers' Heaven

A child pulls the lever of a machine that is combination of both a slot machine and a gumball machine.

"I thought you said risk taking was okay?" 'Not putting the pension fund on Lucky Lady to win."

Gambling in Heaven - Losing your halo.

Billy strip: dad doesn't get to shuffle the horses.

"Of course there are golf clubs in Heaven - you'll see for yourself tomorrow..."

'I crashed my sportscar on the way to a Golf match.'

Golfing Gods.

Angel playing disk golf with his halo