Holy Day Buff T-Shirts

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

TSA Noah

Doctor Frankenstein creates a new monster that makes the mob even more blood thirsty. Colour

'Maybe fruit flies don't have souls.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Believe me it's only an apple."

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Halloween Selfie

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Monster Baseball

Sermon Applause.

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

'Moses looks back - 'The commandments, the Red Sea, the books of the bible, but I never had a hit song.'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

Horseshoes...Samson-style

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'...and then the bad woman gave the snake the apple, and that's when our problems began.'

Moses as a mobster.

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

Religious texts from heaven and hell find common ground...they are made in China.

"It's Eden. You don't have to keep checking for ticks."

Squeal like a pig!

"Siblings? yes, I'm one of seven."

At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

Arresting Adam and Eve