Hollywood Cynic T-Shirts

The Sequel is Coming

"This is my kind of film."

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

Moby Dick the Demi Moore Version

Obama builds own gallows.

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

"Everyone is so cynical these days."

"Call my attorney and say that I killed Ted in self-defense. Call my publicist and say that I wish Ted the best of luck in all his future endeavors."

"What you ain't - is A GENT!"

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Oh, the usual bills and a friendly reminder from Satan that there's a special place in Hell reserved just for us, but only if we ACT NOW, blah, blah, blah."

Information and Still don't get it.

Cornucopia Prime

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY: CLEAN UNDERWEAR

Mail & Political lies.

If Kitschy Film Dialogues Were Really Realistic. . .

'Against Joie De Vivre': Meet the author today.

"...nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!"

'Don't tell me about the basic goodness of children - as soon as there were two, Cain killed Abel!'

'Ha! I can see right through that!'