Holiday Tradition Explorer Pillows

"He's my relative from Hawaii."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Elfie Stick

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"Did you check the little patch of grass by the swing set?"

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"I noticed a few browns."

Christmas sweater alternatives

'I'm dreaming of a green Christmas, with every recycled Christmas card I write...'

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

Merry Kissmas

The Tooth Ferret

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"Tis the season to be jolly!"

Easter Bunny!

"Room for bigger presents."

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

"Trust me – she's a witch."

"My dad was really good at showing me how to throw poo. He was just never any good at explaining exactly why I should be throwing it."

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

'You have your Boxing Day dip and I'II have mine...'

"I've decided to forgo expensive gifts with acts of apathy."

"Too much salt?! Hey, I put a lot of sweat and tears into making that Christmas Pudding!"

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

"I'm a little angel when I'm asleep. Does that count?"