Holiday Stress Gifts

Children line up to talk to Santa

'I'm pretty sure I�m seeing you due to bad nog, but as a struggling small business owner trying to keep costs down, I�m wondering if you'd deliver these bills on your rounds?'

"Gasp! Christmas! Puff! Must get away from...Christmas! Gasp! Puff!"

Where your mind & battle are los

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

At the Museum

A Good Batch.

Counting ribs

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

The Vineyard

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

The Baby Walker

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Tourists

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Easter Island legs

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Meet the scribe"

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Faster, Georges, faster!

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

Transylvanian backpackers.

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

Club Antisocial