Holiday Spirit Defender Gifts

It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller. Yeah, how come you haven't said "Merry Christmas" yet? Oh, that's because I was hoping to provoke every who's upset about the so-called "war on Christmas" to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don't think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace. You're welcome, America. Why haven't you played "Jingle Bells" yet?

Cull bosses who make their employees work at Christmas when it's not essential.

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

'Never mind that. I think I've just discovered a new planet!'

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

Gracie sees a plane on Christmas Eve and tells her dad Santa is flying it.

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

O Christmas Tea

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

Peace on Earth

'How do I know if you've been naughty or nice? CCTV!!'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

'OMG! Is it Christmas already?'

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"Maybe this year..."

"Your dad says he's sorry. . . he'll be late for Christmas. He got hung up at work, again."

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

Drones deliver gold, frankincense and myrrh to baby Jesus.

"Well, I'm sorry, but that's what happens when you micromanage!"

'You don't have to raise your hand here, little boy.'

'Here, Santa. My wish list wouldn't fit on paper, so take this flash drive.'

Christmas is fun...but as soon as the holidays are over I'm heading down to Florida for the sun.

''Amazing amount of assembly required'.'

"We're letting you go, delivering by drone is cheaper."

What do you wish for next year?

Four calling birds...three French hens...two turtle doves... This is my favourite part.