Holiday Spending Pillows

"How much did you spend at Macy's this year?

'And before you start. The lady at the store assured me, that the lovely seasonal packaging more than justified the extra cost.'

"Making purchases with credit cards should have a five day waiting period!"

Where your mind & battle are los

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

At the Museum

A Good Batch.

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

The Vineyard

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

Santa Claus's Mail

The Baby Walker

Tourists

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Easter Island legs

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

"First class, or with children?"

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Faster, Georges, faster!

"Meet the scribe"

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Club Antisocial

Transylvanian backpackers.

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"