Holiday Realists Gifts

"This Thanksgiving, we're going to serve whatever we can get from the food bank."

Christmas Tree

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Santa does a keg stand.

Taking Cupid on a holiday.

'I hate all holidays!'

"Sorry, you can't cash in your vacation time. Since you didn't use it, tell it Bon Voyage!"

Watchdog on Holiday

"I hate this time of year."

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

'We took a look at our passport pictures and realized that we need a vacation.'

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

The night after Christmas.

December Fest

'No luggage.'

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

"It's called 'A Package Holiday'"

'I keep wondering what they're saying about us at the bank this cold,damp,Monday morning..'

These single cruises are great - how else would we have met?

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

"Looks like we'll be going on holiday on our own this year."

'It's not just the Oktoberfests, it's the novemberfests, birthdayfests, flagdayfests, mayfests, arboedayfests...'

'I hate Christmas!'

Elves in bed

'We'd like somewhere with sand, sun, beaches and skiing.'

"It's all on this flash drive. Colors, sizes. . ."

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

This Christmas Let's Hang Together

Tree piercings.