Holiday Realist Gifts

Christmas in the Streets.

'I hate Christmas!'

Christmas Burnout

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

Christmas: Let's get it over with.

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

Christmas Tree

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Santa does a keg stand.

'I hate all holidays!'

"I hate this time of year."

"Better lose the hat people are staring."

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

December Fest

The night after Christmas.

'No luggage.'

"It's called 'A Package Holiday'"

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

'Here's where things got ugly.'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

These single cruises are great - how else would we have met?

'It's not just the Oktoberfests, it's the novemberfests, birthdayfests, flagdayfests, mayfests, arboedayfests...'

Elves in bed

Santa Romance

"It's all on this flash drive. Colors, sizes. . ."

"It's a list of tariffs to be paid"

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

"I hope I can make this work, with Thanksgiving just around the corner."

'Well, you could have fooled me. You look as though you're having a good time.'

"Shopping was stress-free this year because I started early and didn't give a s**t what I bought."