Holiday Hilarity Appreciator Pillows

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Piranhaclaus

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Elfie Stick

Tourists and their Pets.

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

"I could get used to working remotely."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

Santa's Helpers

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

"I noticed a few browns."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

"These are my little helpers - social worker,child psychology, risk assessment,health and safety, paramedic and compo for kids."

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

"I've made a terrible mistake."

The Reindeer Strike