Holiday Hilarist Pillows

'She didn't want anything this year. She just dropped by to wish him a merry Christmas!'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Claus 2.0

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

High security Santa's grotto

Night of the Latkes

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Elfie Stick

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"Ninja bread men"

Hiding the electronics.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Non-Denominational Carols

Fish snorkling above water.

'Now it fits.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"I don't believe in you!"