Holiday Gourmet Pillows

"I'm having a Thanksgiving get-together, Mort, but my date's bringing her grandma. Want to come along to keep her company?" "I'm avoiding Thanksgiving this year." "I hear there's an awful turkey-borne illness going around. Best to play it safe." "Turkey? Who said anything about turkey? I'm serving the patented "Randy 'The Rock' Taylor's Sexy Holiday Meal." "A dozen oysters, chocolate chunks, red wine, and Marvin Gaye playing softly in the background. Be there at 4:30." "Sorry, that's p

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

Rejoice! It's time to celebrate the baby cheeses!

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

They discover fire and we spend all day cooking!

'I would kill for a truffle.'

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

It's not an addiction if you only do it once a year!

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

Stand back - while I whip something up

'No, that is not a balanced diet.'

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

"Too much salt?! Hey, I put a lot of sweat and tears into making that Christmas Pudding!"

'It's too early to start being good for Christmas. I always wait until at least the Thanksgiving left-overs are all gone.'

"Who gets what?"

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

Turkey Sandwich anyone?

Blowing out the Christmas Pudding.

Meat Poultry Fish. Genetically Modified Christmas Turkeys. Order Now. They inserted kangaroo DNA to make a product for stuffing, and octopus DNA so everybody gets a drumstick!

'Turkey's okay, but most of the trimmings are vegetables.'

"I swear, you won't be able to tell the difference, plus, turkey eye of newt is much healthier for you."

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

I love Sprouts

'Oh no wonder, this is Extra Virgin Mary Olive Oil.'

Turkey Decoy

Huge Christmas Pudding

Monday. Grab what you can for dinner. I'm shopping for Thanksgiving! Tuesday. I didn't pack your lunches. I'm fixing cranberry relish. Wednesday. Shoo! I'm making the pies! I know how the pilgrims felt. I'm starving!

'I vote we throw caution to the wind.'