Holiday Gourmand Gifts

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

Too full after after Christmas dinner!

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Just one more choccy...

'Is it organic?'

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"It's fondue night!"

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

Blowing out the Christmas Pudding.

Dijon Vu

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

"Too much salt?! Hey, I put a lot of sweat and tears into making that Christmas Pudding!"

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

Capturing a Cook

Huge Christmas Pudding

'I vote we throw caution to the wind.'

'I'll celebrate Christmas in a supermarket and you?'