Holiday Treat Gourmet Gifts

'These are Trans-Fat free, right?'

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Rejoice! It's time to celebrate the baby cheeses!

'I would kill for a truffle.'

"I don't usually like green food, but that looks pretty good."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

M.D. I suppose that will be okay, but no more milk and cookies starting tomorrow.

'Red for me, please.'

"Unfortunately for my waistline, the only thing sweeter than mom's holiday greeting is her holiday eating!"

Stand back - while I whip something up

'Anyone else seeing a pattern here?'

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

Turkey Sandwich anyone?

'Turkey's okay, but most of the trimmings are vegetables.'

'It's too early to start being good for Christmas. I always wait until at least the Thanksgiving left-overs are all gone.'

"I swear, you won't be able to tell the difference, plus, turkey eye of newt is much healthier for you."

Turkey Decoy

What do you wish for next year?

Baker: We have Gingerbread House/ Thomas Insurance: We have Homeowner's Insurance

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

"We met over the holidays."

Too full after after Christmas dinner!

Christmas canape?

'For the instant mashed potatoes, the heat and serve puddings, the canned cranberry sauce, the defrost and serve pumpkin pie and the delivered roast turkey, we are truly thankful.'

Invasion of the Demonic Shape-Shifters!

"They say I'm spoiled, whatever that means."

'It must of crept on over christmas...'

"Wanna trade an Easter ham salad for an Easter egg salad?"

'They're not so much chewy as inedible.'

You complimented the chef on his dumplings-now he wishes to return the compliments!

'Great, more trans-fats and cholesterol!'