Holiday Gift Guru Pillows

'I feel awful - we only got them socks.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

Beach con-man.

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

Daughters on the beach

"That'll be five bucks."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"I might just get a pie."

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Santa called but you were out!

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

'Hang on a minute...'

"Ticket and passport, please."

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

Loopholes

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

Mouse returns home from work.

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Regifts of the Magi

Snake Charming

"Goodnight Tommy, sleeptight, watch the millenium bugs don't bite."

Valentines Day truck

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

Electric powered sleigh with wrong fitting.