Holiday Decorating Gifts

Santa Land: Low Credit Score and Good Credit Score.

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

'Milk and cookies, milk and cookies...How much longer till I get to Bordeaux?'

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

Home is where you hang the lights.

'Wouldn't it have been easier to cut off the top of the tree?'

'Dear, you don't think this is too ostentatious, do you?'

Santa hosing the Chimney.

"Looks like Santa Claus has moved from the North Pole to the Amazon."

Christmas stockings hanging from fireplace. Sign above reads 'Now Accepting Paypal'.

'And make him return our axe!'

'That reindeer's eating my sprouts!'

'Now it fits.'

Santa carrying a sack full of mail

'Every year about this time they put in an indoor bathroom.'

"It takes all the stress out of it!"

Shelf on an Elf

"It's Santa, we don't have a chimney, so he's trying to get in through the central heating duct."

Christmas Knocker

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"The Christmas tree fairy is socially distancing."

Physicist's Christmas tree

"We need to talk."

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

A Human Male Christmas tree in the corner of a Pine tree family's home on Christmas day.

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Santa was in for a big surprise the year Jack returned from the beanstalk.'

'You just go out on the lot and mark the tree you want.'

Snowman offering solutions.

Christmas Decorating

'Gerald. I'm feeling festive. Give me sex.'

When Christmas goodies visit....

Scrooge

'It's the only way we can keep the twins from messing with the tree.'