Holiday Decor Lovers Pillows

"I only wear the medals around the holidays."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Halloween may be a little different this year.

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Tree in Dollar Shape.

"Home depot."

'Now it fits.'

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

'It's more festive-looking!'

Christmas Hugs

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

Baby it's cold outside.

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"We need to talk."

If You See Something You Want, Whine!

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

To the delight of the elves and other reindeer, Santa installs the clapper on Rudolph.'

Santa and reindeer in line with shadows

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

Santa hosing the Chimney.

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

'So that's what he did with the Christmas tree lights he couldn't untangle!'

Shelf on an elf

There's no place like home for the holidays...

'The more festive I am, the more productive I get.'

"It takes all the stress out of it!"

"That reminds me, your Dentist called."