Holiday Decor Aficionado Gifts

'What are you doing here? It's only November.'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"I told the downstairs neighbors they had to take their tree down by New Year's."

Clearing Away Christmas

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

'The more festive I am, the more productive I get.'

"You guys made your own yard figures for Christmas?"

A bit pre festive isn't it?

Santa picks out a suitable light bulb for Rudolph's nose.

Physicist's Christmas tree

"Your intel on naughty and nice - NSA?"

'Finally lashed out and bought yourself a Stetch & Grow Smorgasborder for the holidays eh?'

Car with upright Christmas tree.

The Deconstructed Tree

Reindeer in back of the plane wearing scarf that says 'Thanks for all the business'.

"Nothing says 'Labor Day' like Halloween merchandise and Pumpkin Spice Latte."

"Which is the best variety for sitting around and eventually rotting because you don't even like apples, you just wanted to do something 'fallish'"?

"If we go out tonight, will the whole line end up going out with us, too?"

Nutcracker Island

"I only wear the medals around the holidays."

"Come on, what's Christmas without special effects?"

'The new hired hand said since it's Earth Day, he's going to give the earth a break and not plow today.'

'I'm sorry, lady...I just deliver the stuff. I can't help you open that plastic packaging!'

"Do you smell what I smell?

'I just think you obvious post holiday high is a little unseemly.'

"Honey, your mother is here."

'Looks like Jim couldn't untangle the Christmas tree lights again.'

'Whew!'

Seated husband covered with christmas tree needles when wife opens window.

'Dang! I wish I had lips!' 'Phew! I'm glad I don't have lips!'

Xmas special - the same stuff we always sell, but now with added spray snow on the window.

The Easter Eggistential Crisis

I'd like a refund please. Christmas cost me an arm and a leg this year!