Hole-in-one Hopeful Gifts

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

'Where's the ball? Where's the BALL!?'

'You've lost it Dad - It's gone into that little hole with the flag in it.'

'You've made me rich. Would you help me break par?'

'We need to work on that slice of yours.'

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

Slippery hand golfer

Golfing Bishop.

'Hole in one!!!!'

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

His golfing career in a long tailspin, PGA pro Andy Pemrick spent his later years as the pro at Happy Time Mini-Putt.

"Swallow the ball and stick the club up your a**e."

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

'I don't know what these things are, but Master spends a lot of time away from the house with them...'

'You're away, Doc!'

Golfers lost on the road

At the golf detox clinic.

'I'm sure we'll hear about his hole-in-one!'

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

"Just take the crowd out of it. Imagine everyone is naked."

For a $50 payoff, Dwayne would agree not to follow a foursome around all 18 holes.

"I like running on the street. Jumping over all the potholes gives me a great workout."

"Nice putt."

'Drat, another hole-in-one. Pity really - I was looking forward to some putting practice.'

"Yes, that's right Mr. Harris. It was definitely another hole in one."

''Stiff shaft', 'long and straight', 'up and in'...I thought you were talking about sex!'

'And your job is?' - 'Putting the holes in the donuts.'

'I made a hole in one, just like you Tiger!'

Desert Island golf

"That putt, was a bit too hard!"

Welcome to Fairway...the town with 536 holes of golf!'

'I told you a five iron was too much club, man! You're lucky you hit the pin!'

'Sorry, but we've never gotten enough golfers here to make it worthwhile to put in a golf course.'