Hole-in-one Hero Gifts

'I'm sure we'll hear about his hole-in-one!'

'He made a Hole in One, and a thousand dollar bet he could keep quiet about it.'

"He downed a hole in one on the 17th, then proceeded to down a further 10 in the 19th hole. . . so where do you want him?!"

"A hole in one... very impressive..."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Golfing Bishop.

'Hole in one!!!!'

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

Say speed

Make up your mind. Next exit 500 miles.

Cleaning Lockers.

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

'My knee's in rehab. This one's a loaner.'

Way to go

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

'You're away, Doc!'

'I don't know what these things are, but Master spends a lot of time away from the house with them...'

"Uh-huh, I see... and how did you get along with the other adopted sections of this highway?"

'You've lost it Dad - It's gone into that little hole with the flag in it.'

Golfers lost on the road

Speed limit 70mph and up.

At the golf detox clinic.

'Most of all, I want a long-term highway bill.'

A 'failed' brake check!

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

'This baby can do zero to sixty in four seconds flat!!'

Two boys having a water fight.

The overly travelled road

Abandon all hope,you who enter here.

Two hoses, one labeled 'H2' and the other '0'.

Truck scale to weigh the truck as well as a 'trucker scale' to weigh the driver

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'