'For the wrong department: Press one. . . for a patronizing excuse: Press two. . .'
Hold Music Hater Gifts
Searching for a gift for someone who can't stand hold music? Our collection offers humorous, clever items that celebrate their distaste for the annoying waiting tune. Perfect for anyone with a good sense of humor and a love for avoiding the tedious. Whether they prefer funny mugs, witty t-shirts, or snarky prints, you'll find something to match their personality. Show them you get their frustration with a thoughtful, funny gift that makes waiting just a little more bearable.
Thank you for holding
To hear Muzak while on hold, press "1." T have a spike driven into your ear, press "2." To end this call, press "3." To end your life, press "4."
"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."
"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"
At the rock concert...
"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."
Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'
A man and a woman discussing the skill of the pianist.
'Nobody pays for music anymore.'
"I miss diving into a mosh pit."
Musical Note Nail
"Singing makes me self-conscious."
"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"
"This next song is for all you a cappella lovers. No strings attached."
Around the piano
A rock guitarist singing
Confucius say: shut up.
"This next song kinda stinks. I hope you like it."
Dayme Arocena
"Thank you. That one came directly from the heart."
Woody Shaw
With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.
"It's the new church organ."
"I love what you've done with this corner of the room!"
Jazz Bar.
"This next one's for anyone feeling a little lonely right now, namely, me."
"I have a CD available with all proceeds helping to alleviate suffering in the jazz world."
Live Elevator Music 3-7:30.
A saxophonist
Rapper's baggy trousers fall down on stage.
'It's a new federal safety regulation. We have to slide a mattress behind you before we hand you your bill.'
"We'd like to begin by boarding all passengers who feel impatient."
Pianist wearing face mask.
'Don't say anything!'
Hold Music Hater Gifts Collection
Hold Music Hater Mugs
Explore our collection of mugs featuring humorous designs for hold music haters and make their coffee break even better.
Hold Music Hater Pillows
Browse our funny pillows for hold music haters to liven up their living space with humor and personality.
Hold Music Hater Prints
Discover prints that humorously depict the frustration of hold music, ideal for decorating their favorite space with a bit of sarcasm.
Hold Music Hater T-Shirts
Check out our witty t-shirts designed for hold music haters — perfect for making a statement and adding humor to their wardrobe.