Hold Music Critics Pillows

No Elgar!

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

The Music Critic.

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

A singer being criticised

'What have you got in the way of an imported red that has a label that doesn't look like my cat drew it?'

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

Pianist being pelted with tomatoes.

Snake Eats the Snake Charmer.

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"

Focus Groupies

"It's witless, repetitive, and irritating. It's great!"

Smashed harp...

"'50 Shades of Grey?' - Oh you mean the 'Guide to Modern Music...'"

Legends of Hold Music

The critic as band leader

"Hell, as Jean-Paul Sartre once said, is other peoples' inheritance tracks."

the world's first music critic...

"Who ever told you you could sing?"