Hoedown Hero Gifts

'I guess that's what you would call a square dance caller collar.'

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"'What I wanted to do, but could not, during my socially-distanced summer vacation this year'..."

'What did I SAY to DAVE?' - A person with hangover worrying about the night before.

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

Cleaning Lockers.

"Yes, the migration flight home is always faster, but it's thanks to the prevailing winds, not just because we're keen to get home..."

'I'm racing him in the 4.30.'

"Sosa's great, but McGwire is my hero."

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

"Uggh! Who am I?" 'Rory Bremner wakes up with a hangover'

'I'm sure we'll hear about his hole-in-one!'

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

Princess Anne

Two hoses, one labeled 'H2' and the other '0'.

Two boys having a water fight.

'zzz... nyarrrgh... fwa... ...ack... k... na...graa...' - '' - 'I just had the worst dream...' - '' - 'Oh, b***ocks.' - ''

Nelly Copter

'Monday morning is the new Friday night.'

'I don't mind hand-me-downs. I just wish my brother had played football.'

The Zealous Huntsman

"It's all right for you, my job sucks."

"No thanks. Our ducks have already been cleaned."

"It looks like distance learning didn't go so well for the Smiths this year."

'Mom! Can my role model stay for dinner? He's suspended for three games and has nowhere to go.'

'What's your best seller?'