Hockey Skeptic T-Shirts

A couple of muskrats talk: 'Frankly, I've had it with hockey.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

End of football season - UK

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

Alternative Accountants

"It's simple, really. You're a team member when you want something. You're an employee when I want something."

"I hate golf. There's something unnatural about a game where the lowest score wins."

"Eh? What? Eh? I'm sorry, I dozed off during all that cross-field and back passing."

'Big deal. I could win every race too, if I used performance-enhancing sugar.'

"So, fifty percent loved the advert!" "That's right...I did, but my wife didn't."

'Amazing! You're the first patient I've ever met who gets blisters on his feet and pain in his back just by thinking of sport!'

Lonely Trump Rally in Tulsa

'I can't decide which I'm least excited about...the royal wedding or the Olympics.'

"Now isn’t this better than that silly Super Bowl game?"

"So, you're the mediation expert, huh? So, what does that make you, a big deal or something?"

'Crickets? I mean cricket?'

"I wonder if we'll still have to eat kale this summer."

'Bad sport.'

'I'm using my eyes, how are you looking at it?'

Football League - Concussions R Us.

'I don't care about your stinking study. This time, it better not be the placebo.'

'...You've got no game.'

"Personally, I liked this place better before it became a sports bar."

"In a blinding flash, Norman suddenly realises the mind-numbing boredom and utter futility of the sport that is called golf..."

He's got a lousy voice!