Stadium Skeptic T-Shirts

"I had a feeling they wouldn't stop at artificial turf."

Lonely Trump Rally in Tulsa

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

Arch of Triumph Save

Fan-Centric Stadium

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

'I hired a local guide. He knows every square inch of this stadium...'

'Magazine, yes. Book, maybe. Musical dance - never in a million!'

'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'

'If you think men don't know how to show emotion - just wait until one of them scores...'

The Sponsored Skier

"It's simple, really. You're a team member when you want something. You're an employee when I want something."

"This is the worst parade ever."

'Everything else was sold out. Stop whining about the end zone seats.'

A couple of muskrats talk: 'Frankly, I've had it with hockey.'

What are the chances?

'Big deal. I could win every race too, if I used performance-enhancing sugar.'

The fifty metre hurdles.One of the hardest events in athletics.

'Amazing! You're the first patient I've ever met who gets blisters on his feet and pain in his back just by thinking of sport!'

'Crickets? I mean cricket?'

"He lost his Season Ticket."

'I'm using my eyes, how are you looking at it?'

'I can't decide which I'm least excited about...the royal wedding or the Olympics.'

Loudspeaker announces fans' derogatory chant.

"Now isn’t this better than that silly Super Bowl game?"

"It's always, 'hey God, thank for the win! It's never, 'hey God, need tickets?"