Historical Site Seeker Gifts

'Another one of your screw-ups! You were supposed to get us a rental car!'

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

A tourist inadvertently destroying the place he is visiting

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

Museum. Children love the Tyrannosaurus exhibit. Of course! T. Rex are for kids! (Published originally on Oct. 1, 2014.)

Gone Fishing

Evo-Tourists

Mount Rushmore entertainment.

"Have you noticed how climate change looks and feels the same as colonialism?"

Bath Bonfire

Egyptian Library: 'Every week you take out the same book, Anubis.'

Ferdinand von Zeppelin

'From what I can tell, it was once an Olympic Village.'

The Wonder Of It All

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."

'Don't you have any maps of undiscovered secrets of ancient temples?'

"William dabbles in paleontology."

Highland cow and Scottish bull fighter.

'It's a wonderful find, and yet there's something suspicious about it.'

'Books: Bill's Memoirs, Hillary's Memoirs.'

A rest by the way

Tourist

"Oh, come on, you must want to be remembered for something!"

Nobody famous wanted to live here.

Did you celebrate Barack Obama yesterday? Why? Because it was President's Day and it's Black History Month. I celebrated half of him. When do you celebrate the other half? St. Patrick's Day. But he's only part Irish. West Fester.

"Let's see now...genealogy books...genealogy books..."

"For the last days of Hispanic Heritage Month, Gracie Bermudez will be wearing a traditional Latino outfit!"

Easter Island.

"My ancestry results said my DNA was 4% Wales."

'I want to make a happy home for my family, but I have a strong need to pursue my career as an actress. What a painful conflict for me. If I only had someone to talk to about this.'

"I don't see why I have to learn this stuff! It's knowledge I'll never need! As long as you're here to translate for me."

Golda Meir.

"You cast a heavy shadow on your son."