Historical Comedy Critic Gifts

For the War Inventions Board; The Protected Mine-finder for Use in Sounding for Enemy Mines.

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Apples for sale

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Vlad the Impala

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

"Hipsters"

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

"Amateurs."

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"You're stealing from the rich and selling it to the poor on Craigslist?"

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

Stonehenge Explained

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

"After grad school, and before joining Wall Street, I decided to travel a bit."

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

Great Moments in Computing #192: Newton discovers the computer.

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

'Well, if he can't be a Minuteman, he can be a minutedog.'