Historic Art Admirer Gifts

"This doesn't seem to be working. Could you take off the shoes?"

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

"Mr. Right!"

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

This side is the gag reel.

Diego Velasquez

'Finish your homework first, Og... then you can watch the wall.'

Three street vendors sit side by side selling their art; two of the vendors are selling normal paintings while the third is a Neanderthal selling cave paintings.

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

Et in Arcadia Ego

Tragedy, Comedy & Selfie.

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

"I thought I'd add a punch line."

Posh Easter Egg

Suffrage - Franchise for Females

'What really annoys me is that they're not even my demons - they're Goya's and Hieronymus Bosch's and Brueghel's.'

Football Sculpture.

The statue of Apollo takes a selfie with the Venus de Milo.

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

"Any chance you could do it at a higher resolution?"

Pompeii restoration project.

"Why, Giambattista Tiepolo, you old so-and-so! Who knew you could paint?"

'How many times must I tell you? Stop drawing on the bloody walls!'

"Why the hell would you want a bison on your arm?"

"Frieze!"

"The Ceiling is slightly wider than I'd planned."

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Van Gogh's mp3-player.

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

Leonardo's Virgin Oil on the Rocks painting.

"You know what, let's go with the pearl earring."

Visuals by Frans Hals.

'Great to see the Mayan pottery collection is still drawing a crowd.'

Albertus Magnus