Hired Muscle Pillows

"I'm your muscle's personal trainer."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

'Sorry, but we need someone willing to evolve.'

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

'It's your fault. I told you to watch that wet spot.'

"When will you be starting building work on the lower body?"

'If he has a pulse, hire him!'

"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

Painting the portrait of a weight lifter.

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

Macho man body building club.

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

"Your education in business and management is impressive, but I'm hesitant to put you in a leadership position now that I see you're a lemming."

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

'Any improvement?' - 'Yes, my arms are getting longer.'

"Iron Man Competition"

"Sorry, I'm looking for someone with a twinkle in the eye."

'You're very tense today.'

'He's on steroids!'

Gym. I'm not sweating --- My muscles are crying!

'You'll need to do much more than just pass the time away here, because we're known to work live-long days.'

'This resume looks familiar. Were we once married to each other?'

"I shoveled 5 driveways and made $40."

"Who are you hiring? The one whose CV has spelling errors, food stains or printed using a dot-matrix printer?"

'Yes...our chief analyst is recommending further investments in the new year.'

'This is the worst resume I've ever seen!'

'I must say, I do like your resume.'

"Would you describe your current level of fitness as very fit, somewhat fit, fit to be tied or not fit to stand trial?"

A lady interviewing a new cook.

'We could use someone with your brains around here. When can you start?'

"It just so happens, we're in need of a Miracle Worker."