Hired Muscle Mugs

"I'm your muscle's personal trainer."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

'It's your fault. I told you to watch that wet spot.'

'Sorry, but we need someone willing to evolve.'

"When will you be starting building work on the lower body?"

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

'If he has a pulse, hire him!'

"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

Painting the portrait of a weight lifter.

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

Macho man body building club.

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

'Any improvement?' - 'Yes, my arms are getting longer.'

"Sorry, I'm looking for someone with a twinkle in the eye."

"Iron Man Competition"

'You're very tense today.'

"I shoveled 5 driveways and made $40."

"Who are you hiring? The one whose CV has spelling errors, food stains or printed using a dot-matrix printer?"

'You'll need to do much more than just pass the time away here, because we're known to work live-long days.'

'He's on steroids!'

'This resume looks familiar. Were we once married to each other?'

'This is the worst resume I've ever seen!'

'Yes...our chief analyst is recommending further investments in the new year.'

'I must say, I do like your resume.'

A lady interviewing a new cook.

"Would you describe your current level of fitness as very fit, somewhat fit, fit to be tied or not fit to stand trial?"

"If you want a real metamorphosis, try lifting, bro."

"It just so happens, we're in need of a Miracle Worker."