Hipster Parents Gifts

"We're looking for a pediatrician who reflects our design sensibility."

Wifi in Hell

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

Emergency Hipster Beard

Joined at the hipster.

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Old rocker.

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

"He just said his first word!"

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

Spontaneous Kombucha

Your Guide to Winning Movember

The Organic

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

"Yo, how's it swinging?"