Hipster Parent Gifts

"I'll trade you my soy milk for your wheatgrass juice."

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Old rocker.

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"He just said his first word!"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Spontaneous Kombucha

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

The Organic

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.