Hipster Judge Gifts

"So, I’d love for us to think of this as less of a trial and more of a curated trial experience."

Trial by Media

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"Good boy."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

I love Lawyers

'Court's in recess!'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

Barristers

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"Now that's a win."

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"You call this a constitution?"

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"Just for the heck of it, how do you plead?"

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."