Hipster Explorer Pillows

"Alright you guys, be on the lookout. We're heading into one of the roughest neighborhoods from when daddy was growing up."

Man in pyjamas walks into cereal cafe

Wifi in Hell

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Your Guide to Winning Movember

Spontaneous Kombucha

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

The Inventor of the Man Bun!

Woke Jersey Shore

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

"I'm your hip replacement."

Artisanal Pottery

"Mind if we go through the Park? There's this ailing ginkgo tree I want to check on."

Hipster Coffee

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Baby clinging to beard

"Just remember, when he says 'indie' he means Indianapolis."

Designer Republic of Shoreditch

Gentrification of the Fridge.

"You had me at pumpkin."

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

"They're mire aesthetic than practical."

We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion. Oh no. I've spent the last 72 hours analyzing our customer base. Our granola and kale latte helped us capture the hipster demo once we bundled it with cigarettes and vinyl records. Our caffeine-infused mocha helped us capture the white-collar set once we bundled it with motivational recordings. But there's one demographic we still haven't monopolized. First-time parents of toddlers. How proficient are you at potty training? I q

"A messenger from the West Side, Your Highness."

"I don't want the burger on a trendy wooden platter, the egg on Welsh slate or, my fries in a terracotta pot - I want soup served in a sock!"

"It's a fashion statement!"

Hipster Yard