Hillbilly Humorist Pillows

When rednecks and techies network.

"A mighty fine cabernet, Zeke!"

"I could never vote for somebody who's never had to make his own liquor."

Hellbillies.

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

"The new house is almost ready!"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

'Where's my horse?'

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

Inappropriate horse whispering.

"Bless me father for I have allegedly sinned."

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

I've been doing sit-ups!

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

Stop the big guy!

'I can dish it out, but I can't take it.'

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"