Hilarious Hacker Gifts

'Having algorithm and having rhythm are 2 different things.'

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Terry had a computer bug.

Hardware and software

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"You are still here."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

"I hacked into Santa's computer and added a few gifts. It pays to have computer skills."

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

'It does data processing, word processing and list processing. Get me some data, some words and some lists.'

'Now, now...no stealing people's data until you finish your brussels sprouts.'

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

Robot Robber

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

AI Summit

"It's amazing! There's even a place to put your beer!"

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

'...And in case of program crashes, this model comes fully equipped with an air bag!'

Religion and technology.

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

"We've been hacked by our enemies! Is there anyone who know something about computers?"

Personnel. You did high-tech work in this railroad job? It was a part-time position --- I was a semi-conductor.

'Hello? IT? Yes, there's been a breach in security and I'm concerned about unauthorised access to my personal details.'

"Are we sure this is how we get our workloads into the cloud?"

"Frankly, you seem a little fleshy for our team."

"'Page Not Found' always sounds a little 'careless'. Maybe we could replace it with 'Page Temporarily Engaged in Promoting Alternative Client Focused Services'."

All right, you may tell me about your internet startup idea. It's revolutionary. You know how the only way to tell if you stink is to sniff your armpit? Continue … and you know how embarrassing it is when people you know catch you sniffing your own armpit? Continue ... and you know how apps like "Uber" let you summon total strangers to drive by and provide you a service? Stop right there.

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"Do I use Google Maps driving or walking directions?"