Highway Navigators Gifts

As kids in the car scream, 'Dad! when are we going to be there!?!' and 'Mom! I need to go to the bathroom!!!' they pass a sign that says, 'There, 500 Miles, Next Bathroom 600 Miles.'

Caution: Multi-ton vehicles driven by morons barrelling along, next billion miles.

Thru versus Through Traffic

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

The Fast Lane.

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

YONDER...next 347 miles.

'Guess they're still fixing the street.'

'Sue's troubles with the law began the day she bought that first motorbike.'

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

Even pirates have kids. 'Look, mom...no hands!'

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

'Face it, you'd be lost without me!'

'I told you you should have bought a sat nav...!'

"Oh shut up."

"Don't just sit there. Build a boat!"

I hate these flying fish

Cars.

NEXT EXIT Food & Drink Cafe...Open 24 hours: 'Hey! Here's the place we saw advertised on the freeway!'

'Typical male: Too proud to ask for directions or take advice! Look at us now!'

Road Construction.

'Shark bites seem to be more numerous than ever this year.'

'Can you get out and parallel park for me? I'm not good at it.'

"I admire the way you avoided that radar trap."

'Are you blokes crazy? Are you gonna listen to me or the blasted parrot?'

Cruise ship's captain complains God didn't save his hat.

"I was born an urban bird and I'll die an urban bird."

'I'm telling you, with the right moisturizer and lip balm you could avoid all of that chaffing.'

Pick a direction.