Higher Education Reformers Gifts

"With the cuts in Education... why are they dancing?"

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

'What's play?'

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

Budget

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'Lessons have been learned.'

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair

New dunce caps

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

I channeled John Dewey. He says if you want to be a good teacher, don't teach reading and writing. Teach students.

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'Intellectual bigotry...Go ahead, blaspheme my holy scriptures, the media loves it...'

Spell-Check Bee

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

'Today in school we learned how to blame everything on the United States!'

"No textbooks. I'm strictly Web-fed."

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

"Okay, I guess....first we had a lockdown drill, then we had an active shooter drill. Following that we had a fire drill. After that we got to meet out security guards. Then we watched a video on avoiding sexual predators...."

"Buy stock in a college?...I don't think you can...but why would we?"

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

"I'd like to apply for the work-study program."

'She's the only girl in her home economics class.'

Truth In Education