Academic Reformer Gifts

"You must be the new dean who's going to put a feminist tilt on the department."

'Now that you're history, I'll be sure to look for you on our final exam,'

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

'What's play?'

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

Arizona In Black

America Finally Solves the Gun Problem

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

Budget

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'Personally - I'm against a four-day school week - I'm for a three-day school week. . .'

'Lessons have been learned.'

STRIP *Community Care * 'client empowerment' policy

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

Bureau of Power to the People

New dunce caps

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

Crossing USA Mexico Border

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

'Today in school we learned how to blame everything on the United States!'

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

End Gun Violence

Spell-Check Bee

'He has a learning disability all right - television!'