Higher Education Advocate Pillows

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Interdisciplinary studies.

Continuing education.

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

Staff Yearbook

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

Football team discussions.

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'